Perhaps you’ve seen, or have at least heard of, the TV show “What NOT to Wear.” Many adore this show as it allows viewers a front-row seat to watch the transformation of a select group of fashionably-ignorant/poorly-dressed individuals who have been “spotted” out on the street into totally stylish, beautiful, and confident individuals by the show’s end. There’s something so alluring about transformation; the experience of something bad shifting to something good. We love to see things at their best and being as they should be; perhaps this offers a sense of hope that we can look and feel better too?

But there is something more important to our looking and feeling better than simply dressing in the latest fashions, or sporting the “trendiest” haircut; it’s how we wear our emotions

Have you ever noticed how quickly an attractive woman (with her long, beautiful, naturally-wavy hair, perfectly-applied lipstick and eye-liner, expensive designer bag, and sun-kissed skin) can turn into something completely atrocious and terrifying as she curses out the cashier for making a mistake on her grocery bill? What about how instantly it can take a good-looking guy who pulls up beside you in his classy car (looking like a model in his cool designer shades and shiny new watch) to repulse you as he tosses his arms up in the air only for them to come crashing back down on his blaring car horn while he screams at the car in front of him to “MOVE!”

Come to think of it, celebrities (the most stylish/fashionable of all) might actually be the best example of how poor emotional behavior can often make or break a person’s image. Take Britney Spears, for example; how scary and confusing it was to hear about and see images of such a beautiful, sexy, idolized pop-singer with a fully shaved head, publicly lashing out at paparazzi. This was certainly enough to burst any “fantasy bubbles” many had for Britney at the time.

Now, one might make the valid argument that emotions aren’t meant to be pretty and that it is important for us as human beings to be able to embrace and share our messy emotions. This is true, however, it does not mean that we should share our emotions in their rawest form (like in the examples given above). Attempting to express our unprocessed, undigested, most unruly emotions with others is like the equivalent of leaving the house with our hair in shambles and without ever having changed out of our coffee-stained blouses and ripped up slippers! Emotions are a source of information meant to be gathered, considered, and sorted before they are ever communicated. We must reach a point of being able to talk ABOUT our emotions rather than talking THROUGH our emotions if we ever expect to successfully connect with and make sense to others (especially those we love).

To be fashionably-emotional is less about knowing “what NOT to feel” and more about understanding “what NOT to show.” The most beautiful people are the ones who can get in tune with and EXPLAIN their feelings rather than REACTING to them; guiding others to better understand their experience rather than dumping their mess onto others and expecting them to clean it up. Unfortunately, there are no TV shows geared toward confronting those with poor emotional-fashion and helping to ultimately transform them into emotionally-stylish and fabulous. It may not be as popular of a concept or as alluring as the haircuts, lip-color, and other visibly-pleasing enhancements so common to our TV programming, but this doesn’t let us off the hook when it comes to the necessity of our consistent emotional-upkeep. It is our responsibility to make just as much (if not more) efforts toward our emotional-beauty as we do our physical; especially knowing how all aspects of our appearance are pretty much dependent on it!